Is underarm odour making your life a misery?

 

If so, you have come to the right place! Your suffering is almost at an end. Read on...

Underarm odour is a miserable, unpleasant, socially debilitating condition that can affect almost ANYONE! If you suffer from this dreadful and unfortunate affliction, please remember that you’re not alone. And now, help is at hand...




Dear friend,


Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Robin Carver, and I’m a musician and part-time male model. If you were to see me in the street, you’d probably think I was a pretty OK guy. I’m tall, I’m not overweight, I’m well-spoken, I run my own business and I absolutely love my job(s).


Now, you may think from that that I’ve got everything going for me. But actually not everything in the garden is quite as rosy as it seems. Just let me tell you something that could possibly take the shine off that resumé.




Or rather, I used to. I don’t anymore, thankfully. These days I’m happy to say I’m completely odour-free. I can put my head under my shirt right now, and all I’ll smell is fresh air, perhaps with a touch of a pleasant cologne mixed in. Very nice... and compared to how I used to be, positively delightful!


But there was a time in the recent past when my life was becoming almost unbearable due to the dreadful stench emanating from my armpits. I was socially reticent, very self-conscious and on the verge of depression.


What was causing this dreadful situation? Why did I smell so awful, and why did all my friends seem to be pure and fresh? I really didn’t know. It was confusing and dispiriting. I could put on a clean, freshly-laundered T-shirt first thing in the morning, and be stinking within minutes. I could step out of the shower or bath and ten minutes later smell like I needed another one. My sweating and odour seemed uncontrollable. It was awful.


And of course it wasn’t just me who was suffering. People around me - fellow passengers on the bus or train, friends, relatives, my gym instructor and so on - all must have been having a truly miserable time associating with me.


The unfortunate thing was, I was doing just about everything that people traditionally thought was the cure for underarm odour. I was showering or bathing twice a day (sometimes more), I was laundering my clothes like an obsessive and I was absolutely drenching my underarms in deodorants.





People have a very unforgiving attitude towards those unfortunate souls who, like me, smell. And perhaps not without reason. I mean, who actually likes the smell of underarm odour? I don’t, that’s for sure! It has an acrid, unpleasant pungency about it which fills the air and other people’s senses. And yet there I was, troubled with this hideous affliction, and seemingly utterly helpless. It didn’t matter what I did or whose advice I followed, my problem was always with me.


I was becoming desperate. What was I to do?


It didn’t matter who I asked - friends, family, colleagues - the advice was always the same...


Wash. Wear Clean clothes. Use a deodorant.


But of course I was doing these things. Obsessively. And still my problem persisted. If anything it was getting worse. It felt like I was alone in my miserable, smelly little world, and people were thinking I was disgusting, unhygienic and completely negligent towards my body.


But I wasn’t. I really, honestly wasn’t. If anything, I was washing more than other people. I was laundering my clothes more than other people, and I was spending stupid amounts of money on deodorants and perfumes. All useless.


Does this sound in any way familiar to you?



If so, then please remember you’re not alone. I’ve been there and I know what it’s like. It’s awful. But I’m not here to judge you - no, not at all. You’re not disgusting; you’re not unhygienic; you’re not lazy, you’re not gross.


You’re just unlucky.



Unlucky like I was. You have somehow acquired the type of skin that bacteria absolutely love. On your skin, they multiply at truly frightening rates and create foul-smelling waste products that accumulate on you, and give rise to a very unpleasant odour. But if others notice that you smell, it’s no good trying to blame the bacteria, even though it’s their fault. Oh no... as far as anyone else is concerned, that smell is coming from YOU!


You may not know it, but if you have a problem like I used to have, people are probably talking about you behind your back. Some people may have the audacity to tell you to your face, but most people don’t. Most people will wait until you’re out of earshot, and then make comments to each other about you. Things like...


“Oh my God! Could you SMELL that guy?”


“I had to open a window after he’d gone.”


“Does he not HAVE a shower at home?”


“That was just so gross.”


“How can he not KNOW he smells like that?”


It’s horrible, isn’t it? It’s very unfair and completely lacking in understanding or sympathy. But I can see why people react in this way. It’s never easy to tell someone that he or she smells. It’s a desperately sensitive subject. Maybe you already do know that you smell “like that”. But if you’re anything like me, you feel pretty helpless about it. It doesn’t matter how much you bath or shower, or what clothes you wear, or what type of deodorant you use... that miserable, pervasive stench always finds its way through. It’s a cruel situation, yes, but it’s no good trying to explain it to anyone. Why? Well, first, they’re not interested in your justifications (as far as they’re concerned, you’re smelly and unhygienic and the simple cure for it all is to go in the shower. They’re WRONG, but that’s what they think!). And secondly, even the best and most accurate explanation in the world won’t make the smell go away.


But I’m on your side. I know what you’re going through. And I’m here to help. I mean, really help.


You’ve probably tried - as indeed I have - to follow the advice of your family and friends. You may have asked them for some assistance, or more likely, they give you their advice in no uncertain terms - whether you requested it or not! They say things like, “Yes, I’ll give you a cure for your underarm odour problem. It’s called going in the shower!”


Well-meant advice, I’m sure... although sometimes I’m not so sure that advice was well-meant. Sometimes I think people were having a real go at me. It was all right for them though. They could afford to be cruel and judgmental. Why? Because they weren’t suffering the affliction. They were in the clear - they didn’t smell. But whether that “advice” was well-meant or not, if you have the skin type that engenders and encourages bacterial growth, those “words of wisdom” (ha!) aren’t really of much assistance. If, unfortunately, you have that skin type - the type that is conducive to bacterial growth - the bacterial colonies will form on your skin in truly horrifying numbers, and end up producing their own waste products which simply have nowhere to go. These waste products, called “short-chain fatty acids” (or SCFAs) accumulate on your skin and... well... stink, basically.


So how do we cure this problem? Well, we need to get rid of the bacteria - that much should be obvious. But soap, washing powder and deodorant can only go so far in controlling bacterial growth on your skin. Their effect is really quite limited in terms of killing bacteria. We need something else. Something more powerful, more potent and more effective. And yes... that substance does indeed exist!


It took one desperate, miserable event for me to stumble across this substance. An event which had driven me to distraction and almost anger. And in a fit of frustration and exasperation, I learned something which truly, truly changed my life. And the funny thing was, it wasn’t directly to do with my skin. It was to do with my clothes.


Yes, my clothes. You see, these bacteria which were making my life - and possibly are still making your life - an utter misery, they get into your clothes too. They enter the fabric matrix and stay there in the warm, moist environment that your armpits create. They multiply and multiply, and feed and excrete, and they create a nasty smell on both your skin and your clothes. They penetrate the fabrics of your clothes and reside there. And with today’s lower temperature washing cycles, they don’t really face much of a threat. Consider this quote from Dr John Maunder at the British Medical Entomology Centre:


“If you wash bug-ridden clothing at low temperatures, all you get is cleaner bugs.”


Yes, that’s right. Unless you take proper steps to remove the bacteria from your clothes, then it doesn’t matter how much you wash your skin. Even assuming that going in the shower will be enough to remove the smelly little bacteria from the skin on your armpits (and, by the way, it isn’t!), as soon as you put your shirt back on, the bacteria re-infect your skin, and start their dirty, stinky little business all over again.


So it’s quite obvious we need a two-pronged attack. Skin and clothes. We need to fight the little critters both in their place of birth (your skin) and in their place of residence (your clothes). But how do we do that? How do we kill the bacteria in our clothes without ruining the fabrics, and how do we kill the bacteria on our skin without flaying ourselves alive?

 

I stink horribly.

But it didn’t work. In fact, nothing seemed to work.

“

Hi Robin!


Thanks for sending me this. You are a genius...


Your solution really works. It’s great - I can wear all my favourite T-shirts again!


Thanks so much!


Ben.

                          ”

Yes... the answer is very, very simple. And it was something that I discovered almost by accident. After that one, final, miserable and humiliating experience at the hands of these nasty little bacteria, the truth was revealed to me. And I was astonished. To this very day, I thank my own - rather curious - good fortune. If I hadn’t done what I did in that fit of pique, that fury and frustration, I’d probably never have discovered what I now know.


That day really did turn my life around. And what I discovered could easily turn your life around too. The substance that I used is cheap, safe, easy to apply and readily available. In fact, you probably have some in your store cupboard right now!


I know what you’re thinking. “Come on Robin. What is this amazing substance and how do I apply it?” Well, I’ve got some good news...


All the answers are here...


 

The answer is almost too simple to be believable...